My husband slept with his stepsister - should I forgive him?

My world has just been blown apart. My husband, who I adore and have been married to for 12 years, recently confessed to me that he had sex with his stepsister when he was 16. She's five years older than he is and he tells me she seduced him, and it only happened once, but I'm disgusted.

What makes it worse is that I've always been good friends with her: now I don't want her in the house. I also worry that there might be other sexual secrets my husband is keeping that perhaps I should know about, but he assures me there aren't.

I don't feel I know him any more and as for having sex with him - he can forget it. I'm just so angry and feel I want to get away, but we have three children under 10 and I don't want them upset. But I can't imagine staying with my husband now I know this.

He tells me I'm being unfair and judgmental - but am I? I'm sure he'd be just as furious if it were me who'd done this.

I've asked for a trial separation so that I can think about this more calmly, but my husband has refused, saying it would be unfair on the children.

What would you advise we do now?

Claire, E. Sussex

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